The Gryffindor Gazette

How to cast spells like Harry Potter

by Wendy on August 13th, 2007

Wouldn’t you like to be able to cast spells like Harry Potter? I mean, just the Invisibility Cloak alone would come in handy, right?

OKAY KIDS, HERE’S WHAT YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR…

The spells that you see the characters casting in the Harry Potter series consist primarily of a few pseudo-Latin words spoken loudly while waving your magic wand or pointing it at your target. This should be a piece of cake - if there’s one thing I can do, it’s speak pseudo-Latin while waving a stick around!

PREPARATION - Constructing The Wand

First, we’ll need a wand. According to the books, wands are usually made of a magical wood, with some sort of powerful item inside - like a unicorn hair or phoenix feather. I’m not sure where to find a phoenix or unicorn - in fact, I suspect that neither of them really exist. But I could be wrong. After all, according to Demonbuster, any kid who reads these books will be able to start throwing spells around like there’s no tomorrow. So a wand can’t be that hard to make.

One official Harry Potter wand! Now to get the pine smell off of my hands…The Harry Potter books tell us nothing about how to construct a wand, so I will have to improvise. We have a border collie (no horn), a parakeet with a very bad temper, and a yard full of transplanted Christmas trees (and there’s GOT to be some kind of magic in THOSE). So for the purposes of our experiments, I will be using an evergreen twig with some dog hairs and a parakeet feather taped to it.

This part wasn’t easy. The parakeet got a few good bites in, and the dog won’t get anywhere near me now, but that’s okay.** Any wizard worth his salt can cast spells with a bandaged hand, and the dog would only get in the way anyway. Now we have one official Harry Potter wand, capable of performing all kinds of nasty magical effects. Let’s pick up one of the books and look for a spell to cast.

PHASE ONE - Casting Spells From The Harry Potter Books

Spell Name: Lumos

Source: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, page 335 (hardcover). Harry makes his wand shine like a flashlight:

” “Lumos!” he whispered.
The wandlight showed him the trunk of a thick tree…” *

That should come in handy the next time the power goes out.

Test Method: This should be simple; say the word and wave the wand. What could be easier?

Results: My results went something like this:

“Lumos.” (wave wave)
“Lumos!” (wave wave wave)
“LUMOS, DAGNABIT!” (wavewavewavewavewave)

Nothing. That’s odd. I did everything the book told me to. Maybe I need more dog hair. Or an easier spell. Let’s try the first book instead. I probably shouldn’t have tried something from the third volume, since Harry was a third year at Hogwarts in that one.

Spell Name: Body-Bind

Source: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, page 273:

“(Hermione) raised her wand.
“Petrificus Totalus!” she cried, pointing it at Neville.
Neville’s arms snapped to his sides. His legs sprang together. His whole body rigid, he swayed where he stood and then fell flat on his face, stiff as a board.” *

Test Method: This one seems a lot more powerful than the old instant-flashlight trick. Still, Hermione is a first year when she casts this, so it should be no problem whatsoever. I can see where this spell would be very handy when the kids are getting rowdy at the supermarket. Rather than risk one of them getting hurt on the hard tile floor and possibly run over by a shopping cart, I think I’ll cast this one on Paula in the living room, where the carpet will gently cushion her fall. We’ll have a good laugh over it afterwards, once I figure out how to undo the spell (hopefully, they cover that in Goblet of Fire somewhere…)

Results: Failure. Paula didn’t bind. In fact, she snatched my magic wand away and told me to take the trash out.

I really don’t get it. I did everything that the characters in the book did, as closely as I could - I waved my wand, said the magic words, and nothing happened at all.

Oh, crap. This must mean I’m a muggle. How embarrassing.

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